Today I received a hand written and delivered thank you note from a CEO of a client company. Its a Sunday! In his note he was so genuine, expressing his gratitude for the work I did and also how I did it. What was special about this was a few things:

• It was shared – Instead of leaving it inside his head, he expressed it!
• It was genuine – He showed his vulnerability and talked only for himself.
• He was specific – In his note, he laid out specific things I did or said that had an impact on him and our work together.
• He was self aware – He knew what he valued and what he needed.

Dr. Laura Trice, in her TED talk, talks briefly of how difficult saying thank you seems to be at times. It reminded me of a time, a number of years ago, when I found the courage to tell a business colleague that I wanted/needed praise from her when she felt it. I respected her immensely but she wasn’t one to express gratitude, let alone share feelings. I don’t need titles and money to order to thrive. I am self aware enough to know that I need appreciation and praise. I knew I needed it in order to continue to work effectively together. We had a bit of a giggle at my expense so from then on, every Friday, she would attempt to find a genuine thing to say. It started with, “you look good in green” and grew to “you were amazing with the client today when you helped him articulate what he has been trying to say”? The impact of her expression was more profoud than I had realized it would be. I had more energy for her and for our work. The cool piece is that she also acknwledgd that learning to express it, brought increased benefits to her also.

My point, like Dr. Trice, is that praise, appreciation and thank you, can work wonders on those you lead. (to say nothing of all the research on gratitude and increased performance!) If there is one action you wish to take this year to strengthen your role as a leader, try saying thank you more often. Do it with genuine care for those you are thanking, identify specifically the action or contribution you want to praise, and let the person you are thanking know about the greater impact of their work. All of this will help you to understand deeply the power of saying thank you and will let those you thank know that you truly see them, know about their contributions and appreciate their efforts.